i want to complain
so, i will 'talk my heart out'
i dont mean to hurt anyone
but lets just keep it within this blog

firstly, its about my band
to be more specific, my section
the band is lacking of people
ok, not lacking but, people keeps ponning
i dont mind once a month or something but once a week is too much!
why the hell did you join in the first place if all you can think of is to pon?
im not being a band freak here but it is frustrating
the band is already like incomplete and not well balanced...
today's attendance was pathetic!
as for my section, the total strength is 4 people
it is even more frustrating when only half the section are active members
and one of them is me
meaning, i have only one other active section mate
worse still, the other two are so-called newbies
they are learning basics yet their attendance sucks
ok, maybe they are escaping from the instructor
but, shouldnt they be practising even more than the others so as to catch up?
and practising meaning with YOUR OWN instrument
my section is already so pathetic that each and every one plays a VERY IMPORTANT role
its like, 1 1st alto, 1 2nd alto, 1 tenor, 1 bari
so, if anyone were to be absent, we'll have one missing part
get it?
the saxophone section now isnt like any other section where they have more than one players to one part (excl perc of course)
let me give u an example: a singing/jamming band
a vocalist, main guitarist, bass guitarist and a drummer for a minimum
besides acoustic, can they go without anyone of them?
get what im trying to say?
grr!
they are not even giving me a chance to teach them by turning up
i feel so fucked up that i dont have the support from my section member
guess what one of them said for not wanting to come today?
DONT KNOW HOW TO PLAY
like, oh-my-god-WHAT-THE-FUCK!!!
i seriously dont know what to say
i am just trying to be a responsible section leader


next, about an organization
i was already like out of it yet im being called back
ok, since i they needed help, i went back (i am kind and helpful ok!)
but, even though it wasnt that surprising, im the 'extra' there again
my presence was redundant
i know im not a big fuck to say this
but, i feel that the leaders should be more well-organised
plan who is needed and who isnt
as for the play, hmm...i dunno
when i was in it, they wanted me to have more of that
now when im not, they wanted something totally different..like totally opposite
im not irritated by that
but i just wonder if they had an idea on how it was supposed to originally be
or was the idea a REAL flexible one
correct me if im wrong:
director/script writer SETS the mood
actors/actresses bring out the mood

anyway, i sense the feeling of being unwelcomed by specific someone
come on, it is not as if IM DYING to be there
if you dont want me, why didnt you take an initiative to drag someone in so that i wont be needed?
fugly brainless biatch

that all i want to complain for today
remember! keep these within this blog!
not even a discussion in msn
tag if you want to comment

i dont wish to dread over it
i want to be positive
i dont want to stress myself with all these CRAP
peace!

anyway, i would like to apologise to jorene
i realised that i was being very very mean for saying ugly to you alot of times
i hope you dont take it to your heart yar?
i hope you can take mean jokes
i hope you know i dont mean it
im sorry yar?


i am not having the time of my life
or rather, not yet
and i miss my secondary school friends a million!


with that i end my entry