last day of 2020. lets reflect.

2020 hasnt been a smooth year for many, including me. 

yes covid hits the world. none of us could travel. but travel isnt really everything. being someone who heavily depends on family gatherings to see the extended family, 2020 made me feel very distant from them. hari raya was via zoom. fasting month was during circuit breaker where no house visits or eating out was allowed, hence iftar was either at home with people of the same household or with colleagues at work. i miss my uncles, aunties and cousins. on the bright side, its already phase 3 and im starting 2021  tomorrow with a cousin's wedding.

apart from covid, 2020 has taught me a real valuable lesson. i was made to realise how selfish of a person i was. a person who only thinks about his feelings and not others. throughout the past few years, i wasnt the person who i envisioned myself to be. i was blinded. i failed to see and think of the consequences of my actions. the last quarter of 2020, i had to battle the struggle of balancing emotions and continuing my daily duties. a part of me just wanted an escape to sort out my emotions but theres nowhere i could go. to keep myself distracted, i tidied up my room although it only got messier. i was building my nanoblock. while looking for quotes from spiderman, i came across this: "No one can win every battle. But no man should fall without a struggle". i knew i had to fight for something that i know i want. at least even if it didnt work out, i know i tried.

on a bright side, work wise, 2020 is the year i managed to maxed out my license allowance. before my final 2 years of bond, as planned. 

well, heres to a better 2021.

im still hoping to get fitter and healthier. i aim to run at least once a week. start with a short distance maybe, and increase as the weeks goes by. dieting has always been a challenge. im not speaking about cutting my food intake. its more of eating clean, eating healthy. i'll TRY to eat less fast food. or avoid fast food for dinner. avoid unnecessary supper too. 

i want to get closer to my loved ones. i should spend more time with my siblings, nephews and niece. lets hope in 2021 we can do more activities together even if its just within singapore.

if i can squeeze in some time, maybe i should pick up a skill. like photography and photo editing skills. not the kind that needs to invest on expensive cameras and app but something that a phone camera and a laptop free editing app can do. i do wish i can learn dancing but im probably too old for that. shall not embarrass myself.

happy new year!