this is really very very hard.

i cant imagine how my life gonna be like each day for at least the next 6 months, till i get to live with my brother again.

it is very lonely at home.

i get reminded of her for everything i do and everywhere i go.

this is really the worst feeling ive never imagine.

to really miss someone, and know only time will fade that feeling away cos i'll never get to see her again.

now that its the fasting month, it is really a challenge for me to go through it.

usually for sahur (early morning meal), she'll wake me up and food will already be served.

she'll remind me will all the prayers required.

and for breaking-fast, i'll get her to cook for me dishes that i feel like eating.

and i really miss her cooking. i never get to taste them again.

i really regret taking her for granted. now im struggling to carry on with my life.

ive never imagine to lose my mum at only 22.

mum, there are still much for me to learn from you.

there are still alot of things for us to experience together.

you are supposed to be my company till we move to punggol

and that was the reason why you disapproved me from staying in nus hall/residence.

i always imagined that you will be there for my graduation.

i always imagined that you will live long enough to even see me getting married and see me having at least a child.

it really saddens me that you're gone just like that.

you were healthy. healthy enough that we get to go out everyday for 3 days before you were taken away.

mum, i really miss you alot.

see you again when im taken away one day.

i dont want to live with my dad.

he is making me more stress than i already am.

it really sucks that im only comfortable telling my problems to my mum and sister.

my mum is no longer around and my sister cant do much.

i really need some company at home.

was hoping my sister and her family can move back in

but they have some concerns of their own, which some are just selfish reasons i feel.

i really dont know if i can survive these six months (at least).